One of the interesting things about working with adults raised by emotionally absent parents is that they form the foundation for the next generation, unless the adult child does something to change their way of being in the world. And it’s important that those changes happen before the next generation is very old, so the …
Tag: adult children
Big Families and Small Ones: What About the Roles?
Over the last four weeks we have examined the four roles children assume when they are raised in a home with an emotionally absent parent. Psychology seems to have a predilection for models of four; in this case the hero, rebel, lost child and mascot. In healthy families, children’s behavior flows across all four roles. …
The Mascot: Using Humor to Cover Pain
The last of the four roles is the Mascot. As mentioned, this learned behavior uses humor and fun to offset the stress of the family situation. It looks like fun but all is not happiness and roses, for the humor is used to cover a dark side. The mascot lives in buried fear. The child …
The Lost Child: Finding The Way Back from Emptiness
A family where the parents are emotionally absent (whatever the reasons) leaves the children to fend for themselves emotionally. In learning to cope in a difficult situation with a child’s maturity and knowledge, the siblings often adopt one of four roles to cope with the emotional emptiness of the home. The Lost Child believes that …
The Problem Child – It’s Not All Bad
In every family with an emotionally absent parent, the children learn and adopt one of four roles to deal with the stress and tension in the family. These roles are the hero, rebel or scapegoat, mascot and lost child. The previous two posts talked about the Hero – the child who learned to handle the …