A number of people have contacted me over the past few months, wanting to talk about their victimization. These emails describe a wide range of feelings, reactions and heartbreak. For adults who were abused as children, the emotional outcome is as varied as people are. There are no hard and fast outcomes – there is …
Category: Abuse
4 Stages of Healing from Childhood Abuse
Over the years, I have worked with many victims of abuse, women or men who were abused in childhood (I do not work with children). Sometimes the abuse consisted of neglect; often it was physical, and emotional. For many, it was sexual. I find it interesting that in my practice, the men who were sexually …
The Last 3 Characteristics of Adult Children
We have reached the last 3 characteristics of adults raised in emotionally barren families. 1. Are super responsible or super irresponsible. 2. Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved. 3. Are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative …
From 4 Roles to 3 Rules
Parents are emotionally unavailable because of an issue in their life which the spouse wants resolved. For example, a mother works full time plus. She is successful in her job but works nienty hours a week. Everyone wants to see more of Mom. If she’d just work less, everything would be better. A parent may …
The Mascot: Using Humor to Cover Pain
The last of the four roles is the Mascot. As mentioned, this learned behavior uses humor and fun to offset the stress of the family situation. It looks like fun but all is not happiness and roses, for the humor is used to cover a dark side. The mascot lives in buried fear. The child …