PTSD as an Outcome of Childhood Abuse

Originally, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was recognized and diagnosed in returning war veterans.  Now, it is recognized as an outcome from a traumatic situation. In fact, new research postulates that PTSD can result from events that may not seem too severe. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association V5, has refined the diagnostic criteria of PTSD, but it now lists two sets of criteria – one for anyone over...

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The Last 3 Characteristics of Adult Children

We have reached the last 3 characteristics of adults raised in emotionally barren families. 1. Are super responsible or super irresponsible. 2. Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved. 3. Are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. The first characteristic is visible and obvious for heroes and...

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From 4 Roles to 3 Rules

Parents are emotionally unavailable because of an issue in their life which the spouse wants resolved.  For example, a mother works full time plus.  She is successful in her job but works nienty hours a week.  Everyone wants to see more of Mom.  If she’d just work less, everything would be better. A parent may be mentally ill and unable to provide the emotional nurturing and caring needed by the children. If the other parent does not...

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The Mascot: Using Humor to Cover Pain

The last of the four roles is the Mascot.  As mentioned, this learned behavior uses humor and fun to offset the stress of the family situation.  It looks like fun but all is not happiness and roses, for the humor is used to cover a dark side. The mascot lives in buried fear.  The child living this role is afraid that the family problems are going to be identified.  They are afraid that their shortcomings will be seen.  They are afraid that...

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The Lost Child: Finding The Way Back from Emptiness

A family where the parents are emotionally absent (whatever the reasons) leaves the children to fend for themselves emotionally.  In learning to cope in a difficult situation with a child’s maturity and knowledge, the siblings often adopt one of four roles to cope with the emotional emptiness of the home. The Lost Child believes that there is no point in attracting attention to themselves – after all no one is aware they’re around. ...

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The Problem Child – It’s Not All Bad

In every family with an emotionally absent parent, the children learn and adopt one of four roles to deal with the stress and tension in the family.  These roles are the hero, rebel or scapegoat, mascot and lost child. The previous two posts talked about the Hero – the child who learned to handle the stress in their home by shutting off any knowledge of their wants and needs and becoming a ‘human doing’ – a person who judges...

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