Keeping Your Butt in the Chair and Out of the Fire

After sharing my experience with burnout, I thought it might be wise to talk about the more common symptoms and how they manifest in most people.  Again, symptoms are always unique for each of us. But having said that, there are some signs we need to watch for.  Especially those of us who are in the trenches working with our creative juices and still trying to meet all the other demands on us: families, work, craft, responsibilities, and...

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4 Stages of Healing from Childhood Abuse

Over the years, I have worked with many victims of abuse, women or men who were abused in childhood (I do not work with children).  Sometimes the abuse consisted of neglect; often it was physical, and emotional.  For many, it was sexual.  I find it interesting that in my practice, the men who were sexually abused as children were abused by someone outside of the family. the girls were all victimized by their fathers. (That is not the...

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How Do The Roles Play Out In Codependency?

As explained earlier, the roles learned by children are usually played out in adulthood.  How would each of the roles adopt the role of codependent?  It’s a little complicated but I’ll try to simplify as much as I can. Hero becomes the co-dependent in many situations. She finds a man who ‘needs her’ and begins to help him become all that he can be – whether he wants to change or not.  Ironically, the more she focuses on him and...

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3.5 Steps to Lasting Personal Change

Over the past few months, this blog has explored the roles, rules and characteristics of children raised in emotionally barren families.  We’ve talked about your personal lives, families, friends and characters.  But one constant has been the question: “Okay, that’s how I am, so how do I change myself?” Psychologists seem to agree that change follows a specific process which I’ve outlined here.  And they’re...

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The Most Common Characteristics of Adult Children

The next three characteristics are common in all the roles.  In fact, I think they’re common in all people – well everyone I know, especially the last two. Overreact to changes over which they have no control. Constantly seek approval and affirmation. Usually feel that they are different from other people. Overreaction looks different among the different roles.  Heroes may get angry because their plans went awry (ever noticed a hero...

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Incompletes, Dishonesty and Merciless Judgment: 3 More Characteristics

The next three characteristics of children raised in emotionally barren homes are: (please see the previous post for the source of this list)Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. Judge themselves without mercy. When the environment of a child’s home is not stable and predictible, there is a risk...

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