The Most Common Characteristics of Adult Children

The next three characteristics are common in all the roles.  In fact, I think they’re common in all people – well everyone I know, especially the last two. Overreact to changes over which they have no control. Constantly seek approval and affirmation. Usually feel that they are different from other people. Overreaction looks different among the different roles.  Heroes may get angry because their plans went awry (ever noticed a hero...

Read More

Three More Characteristics of Children from Troubled Families

As mentioned before, these characteristics first evolved from work with adult children of alcoholics but have now been generalized to anyone raised in an emotionally barren family. In the last two posts we discussed characteristics 1 – 4.  Today we’ll look at the next three which include: Have difficulty having fun. Take themselves very seriously. Have difficulty with intimate relationships. The first two of these characteristics may...

Read More

Incompletes, Dishonesty and Merciless Judgment: 3 More Characteristics

The next three characteristics of children raised in emotionally barren homes are: (please see the previous post for the source of this list)Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. Judge themselves without mercy. When the environment of a child’s home is not stable and predictible, there is a risk...

Read More

13 Characteristics of Children From Emotionally Barren Families

As previously explained, the initial work on the roles learned by children and the rules they live by was completed looking at adult children of alcoholics.  Over time, it became clear that these roles and rules applied to any child raised with an emotionally unavailable parent.  The reasons for the emotional barrenness of the family are many; addiction, chronic illness, mental illness, moving around the foster system, and even rigidly held...

Read More

Relationship and Rules

As discussed Monday, children raised in emotionally empty homes grow up with three rules: Don’t talk Don’t trust Don’t Feel. It is also true, as mentioned by Lisa Hall Wilson, that living by these rules can be caused by bullying outside the home.  What are the ramifications of loving someone who lives by these rules? How do relationships fare when burdened by these rules? As usual, I’m going to discuss the far end of the spectrum of...

Read More