Roles and Relationships

One of the interesting things about working with adults raised by emotionally absent parents is that they form the foundation for the next generation, unless the adult child does something to change their way of being in the world.  And it’s important that those changes happen before the next generation is very old, so the babies aren’t caught up in that same drama. For those of you who have noticed some of these roles in your friends and...

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Big Families and Small Ones: What About the Roles?

Over the last four weeks we have examined the four roles children assume when they are raised in a home with an emotionally absent parent.  Psychology seems to have a predilection for models of four; in this case the hero, rebel, lost child and mascot.  In healthy families, children’s behavior flows across all four roles. But in these families, children will adopt one of the roles and live by its parametes more than any other.  It’s as if...

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Tag I’m It! A Writer’s Game of 7

Unusual for me to post on a Friday but I was tagged by Alyssa Palmer, in a game of LUCKY SEVEN. A writer tagged in this game goes to page 77 of their WIP  (or in my case, my latest release, finds line number seven, and copies the next seven lines.  Who could resist? These lines can be found in Family Ties available here. The aroma was enticing. The spicy layers dripped with mozzarella – his favorite cheese. The kids were still talking...

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The Mascot: Using Humor to Cover Pain

The last of the four roles is the Mascot.  As mentioned, this learned behavior uses humor and fun to offset the stress of the family situation.  It looks like fun but all is not happiness and roses, for the humor is used to cover a dark side. The mascot lives in buried fear.  The child living this role is afraid that the family problems are going to be identified.  They are afraid that their shortcomings will be seen.  They are afraid that...

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The Mascot: It’s Not all Fun and Games

The last of the four roles to discuss is “The Mascot”. This role is usually taken on by one of the two youngest children in a home with an emotionally absent parent. When confronted with the stress in the family, this child tries to lighten the mood, usually through humor.  They may also become the family’s social director, doing their best to keep the family funcitoning at a social level.  This will often happen as a result of cajoling,...

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