Incompletes, Dishonesty and Merciless Judgment: 3 More Characteristics

The next three characteristics of children raised in emotionally barren homes are: (please see the previous post for the source of this list)Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. Judge themselves without mercy. When the environment of a child’s home is not stable and predictible, there is a risk...

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Big Families and Small Ones: What About the Roles?

Over the last four weeks we have examined the four roles children assume when they are raised in a home with an emotionally absent parent.  Psychology seems to have a predilection for models of four; in this case the hero, rebel, lost child and mascot.  In healthy families, children’s behavior flows across all four roles. But in these families, children will adopt one of the roles and live by its parametes more than any other.  It’s as if...

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The Mascot: Using Humor to Cover Pain

The last of the four roles is the Mascot.  As mentioned, this learned behavior uses humor and fun to offset the stress of the family situation.  It looks like fun but all is not happiness and roses, for the humor is used to cover a dark side. The mascot lives in buried fear.  The child living this role is afraid that the family problems are going to be identified.  They are afraid that their shortcomings will be seen.  They are afraid that...

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The Mascot: It’s Not all Fun and Games

The last of the four roles to discuss is “The Mascot”. This role is usually taken on by one of the two youngest children in a home with an emotionally absent parent. When confronted with the stress in the family, this child tries to lighten the mood, usually through humor.  They may also become the family’s social director, doing their best to keep the family funcitoning at a social level.  This will often happen as a result of cajoling,...

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The Lost Child: Finding The Way Back from Emptiness

A family where the parents are emotionally absent (whatever the reasons) leaves the children to fend for themselves emotionally.  In learning to cope in a difficult situation with a child’s maturity and knowledge, the siblings often adopt one of four roles to cope with the emotional emptiness of the home. The Lost Child believes that there is no point in attracting attention to themselves – after all no one is aware they’re around. ...

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