Over the last four weeks we have examined the four roles children assume when they are raised in a home with an emotionally absent parent. Psychology seems to have a predilection for models of four; in this case the hero, rebel, lost child and mascot. In healthy families, children’s behavior flows across all four roles. …
Category: recovery
The Mascot: Using Humor to Cover Pain
The last of the four roles is the Mascot. As mentioned, this learned behavior uses humor and fun to offset the stress of the family situation. It looks like fun but all is not happiness and roses, for the humor is used to cover a dark side. The mascot lives in buried fear. The child …
The Mascot: It’s Not all Fun and Games
The last of the four roles to discuss is “The Mascot”. This role is usually taken on by one of the two youngest children in a home with an emotionally absent parent. When confronted with the stress in the family, this child tries to lighten the mood, usually through humor. They may also become the …
The Lost Child: Finding The Way Back from Emptiness
A family where the parents are emotionally absent (whatever the reasons) leaves the children to fend for themselves emotionally. In learning to cope in a difficult situation with a child’s maturity and knowledge, the siblings often adopt one of four roles to cope with the emotional emptiness of the home. The Lost Child believes that …
The Lost Child: Invisible and Unheard
The third of the four roles is the Lost Child. Remember, in a family with an emotionally absent parent, the other parent is focused on the ‘missing’ one. So no one is focused on the children. As a result of their emotional absence, the children learn to cope by adopting certain behavior styles. Unfortunately, these …