The Family Hero – It’s Not All Good

The Hero or Responsible Child is the first of the learned behaviors of children who grow up with an emotionally absent parent.  When one parent is not providing emotional support to the family and the other parent is focused on that absence, the children are often left to fend on their own. Often the oldest, but not always, this child learns to handle life and all its realities regardless of their ago. There are many scenarios where this...

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What Does It Take To Change?

What happens if you aren’t satisfied with your life?  Maybe you have a history of broken relationships or go-nowhere jobs?  Perhaps on the outside everything looks good but you’re lonely and unhappy on the inside?  Or you’re overweight but not happy. There is a process to make these kinds of changes. 1.  Resisting change (also known as pre-contemplation) I do NOT need to change.  Others say I do and make suggestions to me, but I...

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How Children Cope – 4 Learned Roles for Stress Management

Many decades ago, counselors saw an interesting outcome from treatment of alcoholics (most of whom were male):  their clients seemed to do better when the spouse attended a week of treatment geared specifically for them.  Proven repeatedly, the conclusion was clear:  when the spouse of the alcoholic worked on herself, he recovered more quickly and more strongly. For a number of years, this model was followed to a variety of results.  But...

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More Fun with Awards

When I started Kristen Lamb’s class We Are Not Alone, back in October, I wasn’t so sure about blogging.  I’m a voracious reader but I don’t read blogs is what I told myself.  So I sat around and watched and learned, got started on twitter and hung out with some of the coolest people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Then one day I decided that I had to do what I’d tell a client to do and that is “Jump...

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9 Steps to Finding a Therapist

If you have decided that your life could be enhanced, then perhaps you’ve decided to find a therapist.  One of the questions I’m asked most often is “How do I find a good therapist?” Isn’t it ironic that finding a therapist is so difficult?  Reminds me of finding a good mate or becoming a good parent.   It’s difficult.  But after a couple of decades in the business, I’ve learned a few things. And I’m happy to share...

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