Dec 15 – Conflicting Emotions
I had big plans for today. My Bandit Creek novella Christmas on the Run is released today. Writers know how excited and nervous I am the night before. It’s thrilling, right?
Twenty eight people are dead in a small town in Connecticut. It is hard to even consider something so trivial as the release of a novel when others are suffering so much. How do we assimilate this horror?
I saw bits and pieces of the news today from work. I left early to attend a session called “Preparing for a Colonoscopy”. Too much information, right? (By the way, it sounds disgusting.) I believe this is simply a precaution arising because of some wonky test results I had a month ago. No big deal. At least that’s what I’m assuming. I’m not going to worry until I know there’s something to worry about.
Then I took my two granddaughters to the mall to buy Christmas presents for their mom and dad. The oldest of these two little darlings is five and she’s in kindergarten. It could have been her. That’s what kept running through my mind – it could have been her. I can’t get that image out of my mind – it could have been her.
The death of a child is always horrid. My sister was killed in a car accident in 1969. She was 15. In some ways, I don’t think my mother ever recovered. The moment I heard about her death is one of those moments I will never forget. And yet, she was fifteen.
It seems different, somehow. She was older.
But it marked my family from that day forward.
I wish there were words to say, but there isn’t. We all need to assimilate the horror and the emotions in our own way.
My prayers are with the families of Sandy Hook school. As are my thoughts. God Bless
What else is there to say?